


Far Away

by whimsical_ramblings



Category: Metal Gear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-20
Updated: 2014-06-20
Packaged: 2018-02-05 10:12:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1814824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whimsical_ramblings/pseuds/whimsical_ramblings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the bullet split open the back of Kaz's skull, something important was lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Far Away

When the bullet left the barrel of the gun, the vibration of the gunpowder swimming under the skin of his hand until it buzzed and trembled like the inside of a drum, Ocelot experienced a rare moment of clarity.

_This is what John must have felt the day he killed her._

The crack of the gunshot felt like it might split his head in two, bouncing off the walls, timing itself perfectly with the crack and splinter of Kaz’s skull in front of him, his body going limp, his neck snapping forward and then back from the force of it, silencing the one word Ocelot could never stand to hear.

Family.

Ocelot had never had a family. Kaz was not family. John wasn’t even family. Their souls were too divided for something as fixed and long-lasting as family. But, he thought as Kaz crumpled to the ground, being with them had felt like something. Maybe not family, but something equally as comforting.

_I’m kinda glad it ends like this._

Flashes of buried memories began to resurface, of Kaz’s face, his smile, the angry way his mouth would twist into a snarl, of his hand outstretched in front of him, eyes hidden by his ever-present shades, beckoning Ocelot to take it. He hadn’t.

Kaz’s blood pooled around him, dyeing his blond hair a coppery red, crawling towards Ocelot's boots, and the sudden weight of what he’d done began to crush him. His gun slipped from his hand and clattered against the floor, and he wondered, already knowing the answer, what had made this life so different, so big, what had made the space it left behind so vast you could practically drown in it. Ocelot had taken plenty of lives over the years, and they had always felt small, easy to snuff out, easy to forget. He wondered if Kaz’s death felt that way to anyone. Easy. Small. Just another obstacle to tumble over and forget about. The thought left something wrenching at his gut, clawing at his insides, overwhelming him with an emotion he wasn’t even sure he knew the name of. Ocelot decided to leave before it came to him and turned around, his footsteps louder than he remembered them being, the crack of his heel against the floor sharp and definite. Had they always been this loud? Had the air always been this thin?

_You two…_

Ocelot wondered how long it would take before he could forget Kaz’s voice.

_….You really were always…_

He grabbed the doorknob, and for a split second, he tried to remember what John’s voice sounded like. He couldn’t.

_…my family._

He supposed it was only a matter of time before he ended up alone.


End file.
